


if we go down then we go down together

by Gilded_Moon



Category: The Witchlands Series - Susan Dennard
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Crack Treated Seriously, Crush Reveal, Humor, Idiots, Multi, for literally everyone except Ryber and Kullen, no beta we die like the twenty year truce
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 13:14:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30022302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gilded_Moon/pseuds/Gilded_Moon
Summary: Ryber just wanted to have a dinner with her friends. But what happens when everyone shows up irritated and tempers explode?Crush reveal ala that one episode of Friends where they share each other's secrets like crazy.
Relationships: Aeduan/Iseult det Midenzi, Leopold fon Cartorra/Caden Fitz Grieg, Lev/Vaness (The Witchlands Series), Ryber Fortiza/Kullen Ikray, Safiya fon Hasstrel/Merik Nihar, Vivia Nihar/Stacia "Stix" Sotar
Comments: 9
Kudos: 5





	if we go down then we go down together

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this: https://gilded-moon.tumblr.com/post/645048949475065856/yall-know-what-would-be-funny-a-confession-scene
> 
> This was too funny not to write. Enjoy! -Moon

The dinner was not going well. Ryber had wanted to do something nice for her friends after a busy week, so she had asked Safi if she could host a dinner in Safi’s large apartment. The domna had agreed, and on the chosen day, Ryber had spent hours cooking a nice meal and dessert, with Kullen’s help. However, things were going poorly. From the short answers her friends had given her, Ryber gathered that everyone’s day had been rather stressful.

Despite whatever had gone wrong today, most of Ryber’s friends had attended her dinner. Zander was busy taking care of some issue involving Lev, alcohol, stolen money, and a chair. Lizl hadn't been able to leave the monastery yet as she was still cleaning up the mess Natan had made of it. None of the adults could come either due to things of their own, except for Evrane who was watching Owl.  
  


But most of her friends were there and Ryber supposed that was good enough.  
  


_If only everyone wasn't so tense. Hopefully they calm down before a fight explodes_.

Ryber sighed as she grabbed the last dish and set it on the table.

“Dig in,” she said cheerfully trying to break the tension in the room.

“Thanks Ry, this looks delicious,” Kullen said. “Right guys?”

A muttering of thanks and agreement went around the table before the tense silence settled once more.

_I have to break this silence._

“Vivia, how did the high council like your plan?” Ryber asked.

Vivia and Stix had come up with a plan to better distribute food in Nubrevna. The food crisis was not nearly as bad as it had been during the war, but there were still problems. The plan was quite good in Ryber’s opinion. It would ensure fairness in how much food people got and where it went. Ryber couldn’t think of any reason for the high council to _not_ approve of it.

“Bad. They hated it. Arrogant assholes,” grumbled Vivia as she angrily stabbed at her plate with a fork.

“Oh,” said Ryber. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

Vivia grunted and said no more.

_This is not good. Maybe asking Safi about her day will work. She’s normally a happy person though she does seem irritated today._

“What about you Safi? How was your day?” Ryber asked.

Safi huffed and slammed a few spoonfuls of potato salad onto her plate before answering, “Absolute trash thanks for asking. First, I had to deal with some absolutely horrid members of the Cartorran court saying terrible things about my life choices. Then, I had to go visit Uncle Eron. And to top it all off, multiple thrice-damned seagulls shit all over me. It’ll take forever to get those bird shit stains out.”

Safi then began to angrily eat her food.

Ryber glanced at Kullen to see her concern reflected in his eyes. Her captain raised his eyebrows in a question. Ryber shrugged. Perhaps Kullen could break the tension where she could. He was better at those things anyway.

Kullen cleared his throat and turned to his threadbrother. “Merik, did you have a better-“

“No,” snapped Merik. “No day is a good day when I have to talk to my father.”

“Okay. Caden?”

The Hell-Bard clutched his fork so tightly that his knuckles turned white. “I do not want to talk about it.”

Kullen nodded and directed his next question to Leopold, who wasn’t even attempting to uphold his usual happy demeanor.

_He must be in a truly terrible mood if he isn’t even trying to smile. Perhaps I shouldn’t have had this dinner._

“Perhaps you had a better day, your highness.” Kullen asked brightly.

Her captain, always trying to lift up the moods. It was one of the things Ryber loved most about him.

Leopold shook his head and took a long drink of his wine. “Sorry to disappoint you and your lovely girlfriend, but alas, I did not. As Safi said earlier, the Cartorran court is quite horrid.”

Kullen looked back to Ryber with a pleading look. She shook her head at him. She didn’t have any ideas for how to salvage this dinner.

“Uh… did any of you have a good day?” Kullen asked somewhat desperately.

Everyone shook their heads and grumbled “no.”

“Iseult? Aeduan? What about you two?” Ryber tried.

Both of them were staring at their plates with no expression. That wasn’t unusual, but they were both obviously in bad moods.

Iseult and Aeduan looked at each other before returning their gazes to their plates. At the same, they answered, “Gretchya.”

That made sense. Ryber had only met Iseult’s mother once, but she could completely understand why her daughter could not stand the woman.

“Lev? Vaness? Should I even ask?”

The Marstoki empress glared at the table and said nothing.

“Bad day,” Lev said shortly as she shook the saltshaker as if it was personally responsible for her bad day.

Silence settled over the group of friends yet again. None of them were talking and everyone was angrily picking at their food.

_Maybe we should end this dinner before a fight breaks out. No one is in the mood for socializing right now._

But of course, Sirmaya was against her that night as a fight began almost as soon as the thought crossed Ryber’s mind.

“You know Caden,” said Merik. “Maybe your day would have been better if you would talk to your father.”

Ryber smacked herself in the forehead. Merik and Caaden didn’t quite get along. She should have known to cancel the dinner when the two of them showed up angry.

Caden slammed his fork on the table. “What are you implying fish prince?”

Merik shrugged and took a large gulp of wine. “Nothing at all. You’re just too cowardly to talk to your father about things.”

Caden jumped to his feet, radiating anger. “Coward am I?! You’re the one who refuses to tell Safi that you’re in love with her!”

All the color almost instantly drained from Merik’s face. He had been in love with Safi since before the war began. Ryber was fairly sure that the domna returned his feelings, but neither of them had made a move after the war was over. Which meant that Safi had no idea what Merik’s feelings where. And now she did.

Oh, this was going to a disaster.

Ryber didn’t even try to fix the situation as she pulled out her phone to update their absent friends. This was out of her hands now anyway.

**responsible adults**

**Me:** Guys. Caden just told everyone that Merik is in love with Safi.

**My captain <3:** It’s so tense here.

**Lizl:** Finally

**Evrane:** At least she knows now

**Zander:** Tell us what’s happening. We want details

Ryber was about to answer when Merik exploded.

“You are a coward! You’ve been crazy for Leopold for _years_ , but you still refuse to confess to him!”

Shocked gasps echoed around the table as Leopold let out a happy squeal. While Merik’s crush had been common knowledge, Caden’s had not been. Ryber didn’t even that Caden had a crush let alone that was _Leopold fon Cartorra._

Ryber’s phone buzzed and she looked back down to check the new messages.

**My captain <3:** BY NODEN

**Lizl:** ??

**Evrane:** Did someone die?!

**Habim:** Should I even ask

**My captain <3:** CADEN IS IN LOVE WITH LEOPOLD

**Zander:** I’m happy. Now Lev and I won’t have to deal with his rants about how attractive and amazing Leopold is.

**Mathew:** Called it.

**Habim:** How did you know about that

**Mathew:** I have my ways.

Ryber snorted. The Wordwitch always seemed to know everything and anything that had any relevance to someone in the group. It diddn’t surprise her that he knew about Caden’s crush.

Caden glared at Merik with a blush covering his face. Pointing at Vivia, he said, “At least I’m willing to admit, to myself anyways, when I’m having a gay panic over my best friend unlike pirate queen over here.”

All heads turned to Vivia who’s mouth was flopping like a fish. Stix looked extremely happy.

“Viv,” she whispered. “Is that true-“

“You talk about me?! Lev and Vaness rant about how amazing the other is to me all the time! They’re in love with each but can’t tell that the other feels the same,” Vivia squeaked.

The table, and the group chat, went wild.

“Nessie you love Lev?!” Safi shouted, the first thing she’d said since Merik’s feelings for her where revealed.

“The empress Lev? Really?! How did you get a royal to notice you?” Caden yelled.

“YOU WHAT?!” Vaness was standing now too, shouting to Lev.

**Me:** Zander did you know the empress and Lev had feelings for each other?!

**Zander:** Yes. Thank the Wells that’s in the open now. The pining was getting annoying.

**Lizl:** What is it with Marstoks and Cartorrans crushing on each other?

**Habim:** What can I say? Cartorrans are pretty

**Mathew:** The Marstoks have good coffee

**Habim:** I knew you only married me for coffee

**Evrane:** I… did not see that one coming

**Evrane:** Is that the last unexpected couple? If there are any more tell me now

**My captain <3:** Unless Aeduan and Iseult are an unexpected couple than no

**Habim:** … what now

**Mathew:** I’ll explain later love

**Lizl:** Did someone reveal those two yet? Please tell me it happened

**Me:** Sorry to disappoint but not yet

**Lizl:** Fortiza, Ikray, do us all a favor and say it. I cannot take the obvious pining.

Ryber looked up from her phone to see Lev backing away from the table as the confused shouting continued.

When Lev’s back hit the wall, she pointed at Leopold and shouted, “He’s in love with Caden.”

Leopold walked over to Caden and threw his arms around the Hell-Bard’s neck. “Naturally,” he said with a smile. “Now, I think we ought to talk about this- Aeduan? Where are you going?”

Ryber turned to see Aeduan nearly at the door of the apartment. In all the chaos, she hadn’t noticed him leave the table. It looked as if he was trying to escape before someone revealed his crush. Considering the way things were going, Ryber couldn’t blame him for trying to avoid that embarrassment.

Not that he was going to escape it now that Leopold spotted him.

“I- uh need to go check on Owl,” Aeduan said weakly.

“No, you don’t,” said Kullen. “Evrane says she’s fine.”

Ryber checked her phone to see several messages from Evrane, all of which said Owl was fine and that there was no need for him to leave. Ryber would have laughed if she had any less self-control.

Merik, a mix of anger and embarrassment on his face, scoffed and walked to Aeduan. “Oh, he’s just trying to leave before anyone tells Iseult he’s in love with her.”

A loud thud echoed in the room. Everyone turned to see Iseult on the floor as she had fallen out of her chair at Merik’s words.

I think I should step in now.

“Look,” said Ryber. “I know we’ve all had some shocks today, but I think we should all go home so everyone can talk to each other. How does that sound?”

Her friends nodded rather shakily in agreement. Safi grabbed Merik and dragged him to the couch while Aeduan helped Iseult off the floor and walked her out the door. Caden and Leopold followed them out with Lev and Vaness close behind.

Ryber shut the door to Safi’s apartment as she and Kullen left.

“What should we do now?” She asked.

Kullen gave her one of his sweet yet terrifying smiles. “Well Ryberta Fortza, I think we should go get ice cream and give all the details to the group chat. What you say?”

Ryber laughed. “I say that sounds like a good idea captain. Let’s go.”

Later as they walked down the street with ice cream, a thought occurred to Ryber.

“Kullen, I think this will be quite the story at some weddings in the future,” she said with a smile.

Her captain let a long laugh and nudged her in the shoulder. “You’re probably right my dear Ryberta.”

Ryber would turn out to be right over the next few years as their friends got married. She would also be proven right again much later as the story proved to be the favorite bedtime story for a group of young children who couldn’t believe how unromantic the story of their parents getting together was.

**Author's Note:**

> I completely forgot how to english while writing this. If something doesn't make sense, that's why. Thank you for reading!! -Moon


End file.
